Do vagina's smell?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
