I want to have your abortion
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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