It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
