I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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