why didn't you poke me back
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
