whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
