Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
