...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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