singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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