so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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