scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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