someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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