i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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