I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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