Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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