Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
