Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
