my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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