My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
