You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
