how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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