Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
