I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
