Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
