Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
