If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
