thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
