they need to just BURY HIM!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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