I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
