What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
