I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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