i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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