I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
