She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
