i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
