If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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