My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
