"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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