so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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