The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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