Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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