The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
