Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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