you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
