Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize