My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize