WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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