He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
