Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
