I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
