is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
