Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
