Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
