if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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