She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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