I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
there was a trapeze. enough said
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
