haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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