I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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