How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You've changed since you got that strap on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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