This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
