We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
