Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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