can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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