Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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