I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
