worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
