your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
