things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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