yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
