youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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