grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
