38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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