and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
