Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
